Blast to the Past
by KissMyDeadLips
Summary: Gale & Peeta gone Gay, Katniss & Snow are going out, Prim find Haymitch in Neverland buying weed, The next chapters will be very Awkward, Funny, Then Scary, Then the end of the world...YOU HAVE BEEN WARN
1. Message & Texting

**I think this is so off for me but what the hell, if you don't like it then I don't really care.**

**I HATE COIN'S ASS! SNOW BETTER!**

The Mockingjay war is still contiueing, but President Snow, declare a break from war for one week, that if everyone who wants to agree to this, then will be invited to a big all out party in the Capitol, at the president mansion, and in the City Circle.

**Coin:** Okay, does anyone think this is a trap at all?  
>-Everyone in the room looks at one another shaking their head no. Katniss is texting on her Blackberry not listening-<br>**Coin:** Soilder Everdeen! Put that forsaken plastic thing away!  
><strong>Katniss:<strong> I'm sorry what'd you say?  
>-pulls out ear pluges-<br>**Gale:** Katniss I'm sorry I can't go to the party with you  
>-Gale walks next to her-<br>**Katniss:** Huh?  
>-Peeta stand next to Gale dress like a girl-<br>**Peeta:** Because, Gale have to ask me out on a date for tomorrow night  
>-Prim see Peeta-<br>**Prim:** Oh my God. Peeta's GAY!  
>-Plutarch spray he coffee in to Coin face-<p>

**Coin:** What the hell Plutarch! You ass!  
>-Coin yells and Johanna laughs-<br>**Plutarch:** Oh God I'm sorry  
>-Plutarch grab Coin's arms to take her to the hospital when he take another drink, Prim yells again-<br>**Coin:** I think I'm fine Plutarch  
>-Coin opens her eyes a little-<p>

**Prim:** So is Gale!  
>-And more hot coffee sprayed in to Coin's eyes-<br>**Coin:** Just stay away from me and your damn coffee! Boggs get me to the F***ing hospital!  
>-Boggs help Coin to the door when Haymitch enter the room slaming the door in Coin's face without caring-<p>

**Haymitch:** Prim already asked me to go with her to the party tomorrow night -Katniss shots a glare a Prim-  
><strong>Prim:<strong> What?  
><strong>Katniss:<strong> You asked him out?  
><strong>Haymitch:<strong> So she old enough  
><strong>Katniss:<strong> Shut-up Haymitch! No one talking to you.  
>-Haymitch sobs alittle-<p>

**Prim:** I'm taking Haymitch to the party tomorrow night.  
><strong>Katniss:<strong> Party? Wait why are you even in here?  
><strong>Prim:<strong> Because the _Writer_ wanted every main Characters, Sideby also Others of the story to be here for the message  
><strong>Katniss:<strong> What message?

**Peeta:** Snow said it 5 minute ago  
>-wearing girl clothse-<br>**Katniss:** Peeta? Why are you wearing ladies clothing?  
><strong>Peeta:<strong> Me and Gale lost a bet I- Screw it! I not saying it again! Prims going to yell it out to everyone

**Prim:** No I wasn't!  
>Gale: Sure you were!<br>-Prim punches Gale family jewels-

**Katniss:** Wait are you telling me that everyone in Thirteen have a Date? For this Party?  
><strong>Peeta:<strong> Yes

**Katniss:** Who's all going out with someone in here, rise your hand!  
>-Everyone-<br>**Katniss:** Where the hell was I when this happen?  
>-Peeta comes behind Katniss-<br>**Peeta:** On you phone texting.

* * *

><p><strong>(5 minute earlier)<strong>

**T.V Snow talking:** Okay were not going to surreder yet, but the Writer of this story want us to have a one week off, and wants me to host the biggest party of Panem for both side and if we don't she going to cut something off you without you knowing and that she is watching us right nooww...This make no scene what so ever?  
>-Snow hand goes missing-<br>**T.V Snow talking:** Holy crap my hand missing!  
>-Coin laugh hilarious at Snow hand missing-<p>

**T.V Snow talking:** Okay, I will do this damn party...She want foods, of course. She also wants-holy crap? A beer fountian, 150 bottles of wine, 60 cases of beer, 10 canister. The music will not be fancy or classic only random picks of Rock, Hardcore, Metal, Pop hits(Not Justin FuckFace), Dance and Techno. Couple songs and dances will be inside the mansion. Age of drinking will be twelve and over. Trash cans will be everywhere in case, people started puking. Secuity guard in case of fight. Also...unlimated drinking and eating. oh...I forgot, you must bring a date with you, "Gays or Les who give a F***" she says, unless you want to come you have to bring someone with you, But your partner must be able to drive you home after the party done, if their unconscious drag their asses and get the hell out and if you have a hang-over, drink water. If you died from alcohol poison. That's your problem. And I will be hosting the party so have a blast for tomorrw night. 8:00pm to 6:00am.

-Haymitch mouth drop look at the tv in his room-  
><strong>Haymitch:<strong> Huh...what?  
>-Haymitch phone vibrates-<p>

**PrimDucky122543 Texted:**

_Haymitch I know you would need someone to go and I'm thirteen so I'm welcome to take you there..._

-Haymitch texts back-

**DrunkFunMan543928 Repiles:**

_Sure what the hell but I have to tell Katniss this but if you see me dead somewhere...don't come near me because I pack a knife..._

* * *

><p><strong>(Now happening)<strong>

**Katniss:** Snow hosting a party but I have no one to take me!  
><strong>Peeta:<strong> Nope  
><strong>Katniss:<strong>What about my mo-

**Prim:** Dr. Aurelise taking her...  
><strong>Katniss:<strong> I'm going to my compartment and nobody's going to annoy me or talk to me  
>-Leaves room-<p>

**Gale:** Poor Katniss...  
>-Peeta hugs Gale from behind-<br>**Peeta:** Don't worry Gale...Katniss will be okay.  
><strong>Gale:<strong> You think so?  
><strong>Peeta:<strong> I know so, now can you help me to find a dress?  
>-awkward silence-<br>**Gale:** Okay, but it better be hot and sexy and also dance able  
><strong>Peeta:<strong> Sure  
>-leaves room...TOGETHER!-<p>

**Plutarch:** I think those Track Jackers did alot more damage then what they are suppose to do?  
><strong>Prim:<strong> No Johanna and them bet on something and they lost so yeah **Haymitch:** How much do you want to bet their going to kiss?  
><strong>Prim:<strong> $10.00 if they're drunk?  
><strong>Finnick:<strong> $20.00 if they have sex  
><strong>Johanna:<strong> $50.00 for all three  
><strong>Plutarch:<strong> Peeta is dress like a girl Gale helping him pick out clothes...I bet $100.00  
><strong>Haymitch:<strong> Okay we'll see where this goes for tommorrow night.  
><strong>ALL:<strong> Right!

**(Katniss On her Blackberry)**

**Friends List Breadboy129953(Peeta)**

**IhateC&P127324(Gale)**

**Primducky122543(Prim)**

**DrunkFunMan123928(Haymitch)**

**CinnaStyleMac007713(Cinna)**

**MayorDaughter125884(Madge)**

**RueLalaBye112363(Rue)**

**MermaidMan043312(Finnick)**

**DontFckWithME078432(Johanna)**

**BrainsNoBronze038712(Beetee)**

**HeadGamesMaker006453(Plutarch)**

**AvoxFlower005432(Avox Girl/Lavinia)**

**RedHeadHotty120056(Darius)**

**WonderfulTrinket006542(Effie)**

**ImTheBoss135665(Coin)**

**FriendNotFoe138245(Boggs)**

**Blood&Rose009115(Snow)**

**Katniss:** I wonder if Snow has anyone?

**(TEXTING)**

**MockingJay121683(Katniss):** Hey Snow :)

**Blood&Rose009115(Snow):** What is it Miss Everdeen?

**MockingJay121683(Katniss):** Do you have a date for the Party? and don't call me that :(

**Blood&Rose009115(Snow):** No...Why?

**MockingJay121683(Katniss):** Because I been told that your having a party and I have to one to take me D:

**Blood&Rose009115(Snow):** I Thought Peeta or Gale would ask you? Or better yet have a blood fight :3

**MockingJay121683(Katniss):**No they went out with each other instead

**Blood&Rose009115(Snow):** O_O"

**Blood&Rose009115(Snow):** WHAT?

**MockingJay121683(Katniss):** YEAH I know right!

**Blood&Rose009115(Snow):** Ok...I do have no one with me but I still have to host it so I will take you :|

**MockingJay121683(Katniss):** Thnx you :DD see you tomorrow night!

**Blood&Rose009115(Snow):** bye

**(Snow Sitting in his office)**

**Snow:** Did I just get a Date with the MockingJay?  
><strong>Assiant:<strong> Sir your ex-wife on the phone asking if you want to go to the Blast to the Past party?  
>-Snow looks up from his ipod4-<br>**Snow:** Hells to the NO! That bitch think she can come up in my crib and tries to get back in my life! Tell her to get some Hobo off the street!  
><strong>Assiant:<strong> Right Sir. GET A LIFE YOU PIECE OF SHIT HE DOESN'T WANT YOU ANYMORE!  
>-Assiant yells the phone leaving the room-<p>

**Snow:** I. AM. THE. MAN!


	2. Party Night to Morning Hangover

**CHAPTER TWO! Why the hell I'm I doing this? I BECAUSE I HAVE A DAMN IDEA...mwhahahahahahahaha : D**

It's tomorrow Night and the Writer is hoping to make her appearance but she would rather write what going to happen next...so evil!

**Haymitch:** Shake ya ass! But watch ya self, Shake ya ass! Show me what you work-in with!  
>-Haymitch just drunk after the 5 minute being there-<br>**Prim:** Haymitch! I don't really want to do that...your embarrassing me  
>-Avoiding eye connects-<br>**Haymitch:** Light up Pimpbow I got everything under control and-Hey! That guys selling brownie!  
><strong>Prim:<strong> Haymitch!  
>-Narrows eyes at him-<br>**Prim:** Get your drunk ass back here...

**Coin:** Plutarch...your my greatest friend that...that I...would love to sleep with you  
>-You never seen Coin drunk so don't drink-<br>**Plutarch:** Coin your drunk  
><strong>Coin:<strong> No no no no no no no...  
>-Falls face first then groan...<strong>hehe I hate her so much I treating her like shit<strong>-  
><strong>Coin:<strong> Okay...your right

-Music low-

**Snow:** Welcome everyone to Blast to the Past Party!  
>-Everyone cheers-<br>**Snow:** I just want to say it's good to finally have this break! Don't you think!  
>-More cheers, Katniss come up behind Snow grabbing the Mic-<br>**Katniss:** LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!  
>-Snow places his arm around Katniss waist and leads them off stage-<p>

**Prim:** Katniss! You didn't, did you!  
>-Snow and Katniss look at Prim-<br>**Katniss:** Yes...YES I did!  
><strong>Snow:<strong> Sorry what happening here?

* * *

><p><strong>Drug Dealer<strong> (YOU DON'T KNOW HIM!): Yeah. You use this and she out cold.  
><strong>Random Capitol Person:<strong> Thanks...here the money  
>-Haymitch pushes guy over-<br>**Haymitch:** You're selling brownie RIGHT!  
>-Drug Dealer like WTF-<br>**Drug Dealer:** Yeah...Do you want to go to a wonderful place?  
><strong>Haymitch:<strong> Hell YEAH!  
><strong>Drug Dealer:<strong> Okay. $. 50 Haymitch: Done

* * *

><p><strong>Gale:<strong> Peeta quit rubbing your ass against my dick!  
><strong>Peeta:<strong> its call dirty dancing you pricks!  
>-Peeta leave Gale-<br>**Gale:** WAIT come back!

* * *

><p><strong>Prim:<strong> Haymitch! Where the hell are you!  
><strong>Random Guy:<strong> Hey little-little girl *Hiccup* Do you want some of this!  
>-FLASHED look away-<br>**Prim:** Like hell I would have sex with you beside...you have the smallest dick I ever saw and I saw bigger  
>Random guy runs crying-<br>**Prim:** Haymitch! What the hell?  
>-Prim sees Haymitch running around like a moneky-<br>**Haymitch:** MUST HAVE PRETTY WOMAN!  
><strong>Effie:<strong> Haymitch stop chasing!  
><strong>Prim:<strong> O-O?

* * *

><p><strong>Katniss<strong>: Do you want to drink until we can't memory?  
>-Thinking-<br>**Snow:** Two bottles of wine. One for me and one for you  
><strong>Katniss:<strong> FUCK YEA!  
>-Katniss and Snow walk to the table with all the Alcohol-<p>

**Haymitch:** Katniss!  
><strong>Katniss:<strong> Haymitch?  
><strong>Haymitch:<strong> You're a kitty cat! And you're a Snake! Bad Snake!  
>-Haymitch hallucinations and tries to slap Snow but he ducked and Haymitch falls down-<p>

**Snow:** What the hell was that all about?  
><strong>Katniss:<strong> I have no idea  
>-Look at the bottles in his hands-<br>**Katniss:** What to be my friend?  
>-Katniss is way to close...but Snowy likely-<p>

**Snow's ex-wife:** Coriolanus! I have been looking all over for you!  
><strong>Snow:<strong> Damnit Katniss: Who that?  
>-Snow pulls out gun then...BAM BAM (Drops Dead) Music stop everyone stop and look-<br>**Snow:** Sorry everyone! Ex-wife you now what I mean

1: Been there before  
>2: I always wanted to do that to my ex-wife<br>3: WHO give a Fuck about that it a fuckin Party!  
>-Music starts again-<p>

**Katniss:** Who the Hell was that?  
><strong>Snow:<strong> Just open your bottle and let's drink until tomorrow!  
>-Snow and Katniss dance like no tomorrow! Their laughing away and Snow grab Katniss and dip her-<p>

**Peeta:** Katniss! I have to tell you some-some...Snow?  
><strong>Gale:<strong> Katniss I broke up with Peeta so we can be together!  
>-Snow hold Katniss is a Dipping pose (Dance)-<br>**Peeta:** What going on here?

**Snow:** Oh my God Peeta? You look like awhore?  
>-Gasps from both Gale and Katniss. Peeta runs crying away to the beer fountains were Haymitch's swimming-<br>**Katniss:** Why'd you say that!  
><strong>Snow:<strong> Did you wanted me to say something else?

**Gale:** You took my line! Well I did pick it out but now I have to comfort Peeta now!  
><strong>Katniss:<strong> The alcohol tables over their  
>-pointing were the table is-<br>**Gale:** Thanks...Are you two going out are something?  
><strong>Both:<strong> NO!  
><strong>Snow:<strong> Well maybe  
><strong>Gale:<strong> Damnit...where Johanna?

* * *

><p><strong>Johanna:<strong> WHOA  
>-Lap dancing-<br>**Finnick:** GO Johanna!  
><strong>Annie: <strong>kasjflksjdlfkjasl;kjf WHOOOAAA  
><strong>-I swear that Annie is on Adrenaline-<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Katniss:<strong> I have no clue  
><strong>Gale:<strong> Me either damnit when I find her I'm going to...

**Peeta: **GALE!RAPE!  
><strong>Gale:<strong> God Damnit

* * *

><p><strong>Prim:<strong> Haymitch get out of the water or beer!  
><strong>Haymitch:<strong> No!  
><strong>Prim:<strong> Haymitch don't make me go is there!  
><strong>Haymitch:<strong> Com'n...have a brownie!  
>-Haymitch diggs in his goody bag and shove a brownie in Prim's mouth-<br>**Prim:** Wow...everything so colourful...

**(Inside the Mansion)**

1 hour later everyone drunk and still having fun. Peeta and Gale got drunk enough that they kiss, (Everyone give Prim 100 dollars) Finnick running bottomless and Johanna showing everything, Haymitch and Prim are trying to grab butterflies in the air, Coin and Plutarch on stage dancing like animals, Snow and Katniss are slow dancing with Peeta and Gale

**Katniss:** Snow...  
><strong>Snow:<strong> What?  
><strong>Katniss:<strong> I think I'm in love...  
><strong>Snow:<strong> Ohh that good...who?  
>-Katniss drag Snow out of the room to his room-<p>

**Peeta:** Gale...  
><strong>Gale:<strong> What?  
><strong>Peeta:<strong> I think I'm in love...  
><strong>Gale:<strong> Really?  
>-Puke on Gale-<br>**Peeta:** Nope I was just sick of looking at you

**Boggs, Beetee, Effie:** I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world life in plastic, it's fantastic! you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere imagination, life is your creation come on Barbie, let's go party!

**I rewitten it...I feel so pround of myself**


	3. The Hangover

**This is Chapter three DONT Laugh...okay you can laugh BUT don't cry laughing...okay you can do that but...I hope to scare the Characters so don't ruin it for me. And Yes it's early...**

**-No Description-**

**Writer:** WHAT THE HELL HAPPEN?  
>-everyone black out, half naked, some are still drunk, other are in sex pose...must be when everyone was drunk enough-<br>**Writer:** I better write down on my a piece a paper  
>-Random paper comes out of nowhere-<p>

_The Capitol citizen were in their home laying in bed_

_District 13 and 12 refugee were in 13 in bed except_

_Katniss, Peeta, Gale, Haymitch, Prim, Finnick, Johanna,_  
><em>Plutarch, Coin, Boggs.<em>

-Everyone vanish and the writer finds that everyone except from Peete, Gale,and Katniss-  
><strong>Writer:<strong> How should I do this? Oh that right. GET THE FUCK UP!  
>-Everyone jolts from their sleeping position well Prim get smack in the head by Haymitch-<p>

**Writer:** Are all of you sleeply asses awake because I'm very disappointed in you people! You're like freshmen at their first college party! God has not one of you people now where my other three character gone to?  
><strong>Haymitch:<strong> I don't know...Last thing I remember was buying brownie...Then I waken up are here O.O  
><strong>Writer:<strong> Haymitch your still high  
><strong>Haymitch:<strong> And you got pretty colours

**Prim: **All I remember was Haymitch giving me a brownie

**Finnick:** I remember me and Johanna at the alcohol table then she started table dancing...wait what's this  
>-has a bag with money-<br>**Finnick:**Hey Johanna! Look how much money you made

**Johanna:** What the hell happen...must have be one hell of a party.

**Coin:** I need to get back to 13 so I can get rid of this hangover  
><strong>Plutarch:<strong> Can you move  
>-Plutarch in pain-<br>**Coin:** Why?  
><strong>Plutarch:<strong> Because your knee on my balls (**Maybe this should have be M for the term meaning of words use**)  
><strong>Coin:<strong> Sorry

**Writer:** Does anyone with little bit of remember to know where Katniss and the Gay boys are because I wish to end this story soon!  
><strong>Prim:<strong> I remember Katniss with Snow and his arms around her waist then I find Haymitch chasing Effie around like a horny monkey  
><strong>Haymitch:<strong> What I didn't know what I was doing?  
><strong>Writer:<strong> Haymitch you bought brownies with weed cooked in them  
><strong>Haymitch:<strong> Oh...  
><strong>Johanna:<strong> But that doesn't answer your stupid question

**Writer:** Wait you guy are still got Hangover  
>-pulls out paper and pen-<p>

_Prim, Haymitch, Finnick, Johanna, Coin, Plutarch were sober for the time being_

**Writer:** Feel much better...wait were Boggs

* * *

><p><strong>(THE WEREABOUTS OF BOGGS)<strong>

**Boggs:** Ladies when it come to being a soilder you have to be strong and heroic  
><strong>Random Capitol woman:<strong> Oh Boggs your my hero  
><strong>Random Capitol woman 2:<strong> Yes why don't you show us your moves  
><strong>Boggs:<strong> With pleasure  
><strong>Random Capitol woman:<strong> That's all we need

* * *

><p><strong>(BACK TO THE CITY CIRCLE)<strong>

**Coin:** They must be in the mansion?  
><strong>Plutarch:<strong> Yeah that a good place to look.  
>-we go in the mansion-<p>

**Writer:** Okay look around the place I need Katniss, Gale and Peete so look through every room  
><strong>Johanna:<strong> Or we can look on that couch over their Writer: ...

-Gale and Peeta are holding one another-  
><strong>Prim:<strong> Their so peaceful  
><strong>Haymitch:<strong> Yeah...GET YOUR GAY ASSES UP!  
>-Gale shoves Peeta off him-<p>

**Peeta:** What? What!...Johanna can I take else clothes off!  
><strong>Johanna:<strong> Go ahead  
><strong>Coin:<strong> Why does it smell like throw-up?  
>-The puke on Gale's shirt-<p>

**Gale:** All fuck! it's me!  
>-Takes off shirt-<br>**Writer:** Where's Katniss Boys?  
><strong>Gale:<strong> I'm not a boy I'm eighteen  
><strong>Writer:<strong> Yeah and I'm Dr. Phill

**Coin:** Gale were Katniss?

* * *

><p><strong>(Snow bedroom)<strong>

**Prim:** D8 (Look at the face. The mouth drop and the eye are big)  
><strong>Haymitch:<strong> OH  
><strong>Gale:<strong> MY  
><strong>Peeta:<strong> God...

**Finnick:** Well it's not the first for me  
>-Everyone turn to Finnick-<br>**Finnick:** What?

**Coin:** How could this have happen?  
><strong>Plutarch:<strong> Well it starts with making-out, then you rip off each others cloths and continue kissing, make sure you made it to the bed and carefully incert the-

**Writer:** Shut the FUCK UP Plutarch God in was bad enough that I had to watch a bady come out of some fucking vi-g-g in health class I don't want to know know how they do it in bed!  
>-Katniss groans waking up leaning on Snow's chest for support-<p>

**Katniss**: What are you guys doing?  
><strong>Writer<strong>: Breaking news Katniss Everdeen look down to the man you loose your virginity too and don't scream  
>-Katniss look down once, twice, three time-<br>**Katniss**: ...ah...ah...ah...AHHAHHHHHH!  
><strong>Writer<strong>:Damnit!

**Snow**: ...Why are you screaming?...KATNISS EVERDEEN IN MY BED?  
>-pulls out phone-<br>**Snow**: Cheese!  
>-Happy memories for the President-<br>**Snow**: Well I'll go to get ready for today see you on the battlefield in a week Coin  
>-Get out of bed showing everyone his glory-<p>

**Coin**: Hello!  
>-Purrs-<br>**Prim**: I have to leave right now!  
><strong>Johanna<strong>: You See That!  
><strong>Finnick<strong>: I feel so small!  
><strong>Writer<strong>: ...I have no words to say but those...

**Peeta:** Katniss! Did you really have THAT!  
><strong>Katniss<strong>: I guess so?...Just thinking about it I think I'm ready for another!  
>-Snow come out of his personal washroom dress and ready-<p>

**Peeta**: Is that a camera?  
>-point at the corner of the room-<p>

**Snow**: Just in case if someone tries to kill me it will be caught on tape and I also have some down the hallway and in ballroom and the people on the rooftops shoud also have film too and on the ground secretly  
><strong>Gale<strong>: I have an idea?  
><strong>Snow:<strong> and what would that be?  
>-Gale smile wickey-<p>

**(In the theater on the Mansion)**

Okay I guess I've extended the Va-K so the film makers can make a movie of everyone and what they caught of them doing and at the end, everyone going to know what happen in the room with Katniss and Snow beside it only 1 hour and 50 minute long

**Writer:** Why you'd title it 'Hangover: Night with the Mockingjay'  
><strong>Snow:<strong> She is the Mockingjay and I still have a Hangover  
><strong>Writer:<strong> good enough  
><strong>Finnick:<strong> shh it's starting

**(Everyone 20 minute in the Movie)**

**Plutarch:** I remember that!  
><em>(Coin: Plutarch...your my greatest friend that...that I...would love to sleep with you<br>Plutarch: Coin your drunk C  
>oin: No no no no no no no...<em>  
><em>-Falls face first then groan-<em>  
><em>Coin: Okay...your right)<em>

**Coin:** I feel so embrassass  
><strong>Snow:<strong> Hey Coin I got a picture of you on my phone!  
><strong>Coin:<strong> where?  
>-Show Coin puking While Haymitch laugh and Finnick was a beer bottle in his hand, Johanna in the background with raining money-<br>**(These part were not enter because I just wrote them down)**  
><strong>Coin:<strong> What the hell oh my god that mess up!  
><strong>Finnink:<strong> Where?  
>-Pass the phone-<br>**Finnick:** Johanna is that you back their?

**(10 minute pass everyones laughing)**

**Haymitch**: I didn't know your a lap dancer for entertainment! good job  
>-slap Johanna back wells she jaw drop-<br>**Finnick:** Haymitch you bought brownie from a drug dealer for $50  
><strong>Haymitch:<strong> What they were awsome once you get in to them!

**(15 minute pass)**

**Katniss:** You saw bigger...whatever!  
><strong>Prim:<strong> I did saw bigger but unlike me you had bigger last night  
><strong>Gale:<strong> That reminds me of the one story that happen to me  
><strong>Prim:<strong> What?  
><strong>Gale:<strong> The penis enlarger I bought on ebay a mouth ago arrived a weeks later. I just opened it and found that this bastard sent me a magnifying glass.

**(20 minute pass)**

_(Haymitch: Katniss!_  
><em>Katniss: Haymitch?<em>  
><em>Haymitch: You're a kitty cat! And you're a Snake! Bad Snake!<em>  
><em>-Haymitch hallucinations and tries to slap Snow but he ducked and Haymitch falls down-)<em>

**Haymitch:** It suck that you duck you bastard  
><strong>Snow:<strong> Shut-up Haymitch

_(Snow's ex-wife: Coriolanus! I have been looking all over for you!  
>Snow: Damnit<br>Katniss: Who that?_  
><em>-Snow pulls out gun then...BAM BAM (Drops Dead) Music stop everyone stop and look-<br>Snow: Sorry everyone! Ex-wife you now what I mean  
>Katniss: Who the Hell was that?<em>  
><em>Snow: Just open your bottle and let's drink until tomorrow!<em>  
><em>-Snow and Katniss dance like no tomorrow! Their laughing away and Snow grab Katniss and dip her-)<em>

**Johanna:** Snow better then the both of you too -Point Gale and Peeta who sitting beside Finnink-

**(15 minute pass)**

**Finnick:** This is it! Where in the Mansion!  
><strong>Plutarch:<strong> I have to get this  
>-pulls cells phone-<br>**Katniss:** I going to reget this  
><strong>Haymitch:<strong> I wonder how it all happens?  
><strong>Snow:<strong> I can't even remember  
><strong>Coin:<strong> I should go to more parties like these and get laid  
><strong>Johanna:<strong> This is going to be very funny  
><strong>Prim:<strong> So this how Sex-Ed class going be like  
><strong>Peeta:<strong> I'm going straight after this! Katniss I promise to love you again!  
><strong>Gale:<strong> I going to kill myself after this!

(_Katniss: Snow... _  
><em>Snow: What? <em>  
><em>Katniss: I think I'm in love... <em>  
><em>Snow: Ohh that good...who? <em>  
><em>-Katniss drag Snow out of the room to his room-)<em>

**Plutarch:** Here it come!  
><strong>Peeta:<strong> Wait! it me and Gale and were doing the same thing!

_(Peeta: Gale... _  
><em>Gale: What? <em>  
><em>Peeta: I think I'm in love... <em>  
><em>Gale: Really? <em>  
><em>-Puke on Gale- <em>  
><em>Peeta: Nope I was just sick of looking at you)<em>

**Gale:** So your the asshole who PUKED on me!  
><strong>Katniss:<strong> SHUT-UP!

_(Katniss dragging Snow down the hallway-_  
><em>Snow: Where are you taking me my room up stair<em>  
><em>Katniss: Where the elevator?<em>  
><em>Snow: Over their <em>  
><em>-Point to the elevator-<em>  
><em>-Katniss drag him inside pushes him up against the wall-<em>  
><em>Katniss: For an old guy your very sexy <em>  
><em>Snow: I'm only 58<br>-elevator door open Katniss drag Snow to his room )_

**Coin:** I can't believe we're actually watching this?

(Started making-out at his door, Snow tries to find the door handle to open the door and get inside)

**Finnick:** Is it me or is it getting hot in here?  
><strong>Katniss:<strong> Why would I say THAT!

**Peeta:** Oh my God their in!  
><strong>Gale:<strong> I think I'm going to throw-up!  
>-Their striping from their clothes-<p>

**Coin:** Shit their fast!  
>-In a flash they rip their cloths off like that-<br>**Plutarch:** Their on the bed  
><strong>Johanna:<strong> Oh my god he didn't even put on a comdom!

**ALL:** AHHHHH  
><strong>Snow:<strong> If she pregnant I surrender!  
><strong>Gale:<strong> YOU ASSHOLE!  
>-Gale chase Snow out of the room down the hall in to a wall of peacekeeper [Snow safe]-<br>**Johanna:** Oh wait...he grab one?

**(1 minute in to it)**

-Moans-

-Everyone's drop jaw but Snow-  
><strong>Snow:<strong> I do know how to take them

(After the 4 poses)

-Louder Moans-

**Peeta:** And I said I had sex with Katniss This has evidence that she and Snow are going at it

(35 minute later)

**Finnick:** That was so beautiful...  
><strong>Coin:<strong> I didn't even look away...  
><strong>Prim:<strong> I didn't know it goes there?  
><strong>Plutarch:<strong> This is so going on YouTube!  
><strong>Johanna:<strong> You really yelled his name like crazy  
><strong>Peeta:<strong> I would so do better then that!  
><strong>Gale:<strong> I going to kill you if you even touch her!  
><strong>Katniss:<strong> Shut-up  
>-Writer looks down-<br>**Writer:** This is so Fucked up...Okay one more Chapter and I'm done!

**FIXED IT! and yeah this should be rate M and I suck at my time...I don't even know if that was even 1hr&50min**


	4. Author Note

Sorry but it going to take awhile for the next chapter because i'm doing research on Dating Games question and it hard because some on these can lead me to naughty thing on the internet...maybe next week I can have it up and again sorry :( 


	5. Katniss Choice

**I thought off a good way to get this thing over and done with...**  
><strong>The Bachelorette (Girl Version)! Are contesten will be the Gay boys and Snow!<strong>  
><strong>Gale: We're not gay! You just made us that way Writer: Yeah right and I'm Tom Cruise Gale: That doesn't make since?<strong>  
><strong>Writer: If I hear you talk again I'll give you a bitch slap, pimp slap, back hand, rich hand and then slap you so silly their going to call you Black and Blue with blood all over Gale: ...<strong>  
><strong>Writer: That's what I thought because you know your my bitch and I can do whatever I want!<strong>  
><strong>Katniss: Katniss Choice! Everyone<strong>

Everyone doing fine now that we serperated Snow and Gale because when I tried the Dating games it didn't worked out that much. Reason why? Is because the seating. It was suppose to be Peeta, Snow, and Gale but stupidly Gale kept moving his stoll to the left he fell out stage so in steady we put it as Peeta, Gale and Snow then Snow whisper in to Gale's ear about how Katniss ask him after commercials break their going to her dressing room and have some fun. So Gale punch Snow and then we had to cancel the show and waited until Snow bruise healed WHICH WAS A FUCKIN BITCH! but now everything okay...

**The Following Program Contains sence of nudity, sexually, course language that is unsuitable for kids under 14. Viewer discusing is adviced.**

**Caeser Flickerman:** Welcome ladies and Genltmen to the first every Bachelorette!  
>-Snow Peeta and Gale stand in front of a mansion NOT Snow's-<br>**Caeser Flickerman:** Gentlmen your here to win the heart of a young beautiful girl.

-Edward Cullen walks in standing next to Snow-  
><strong>Snow:<strong> Who are you?  
><strong>Edward:<strong> I'm Edward Cullen of the Twilight Sage

**Snow:** Really! wait...What are doing here then?  
><strong>Edward:<strong> I wish to win the heart of Katniss Everdeen  
>-WHAT?-<br>**Edward:** I first I will marrying her then bite her neck and we will have beautiful half vampire childrem  
><strong>Snow:<strong> Really...So how that Crazy-Ass-Bitch of yours Bella? :3  
>-OOOHHHHHH Burn-<br>**Edward:** What'd you say?  
>-Snow pulls out a cross and Edwards hisses away from it-<br>**Snow:** Back you Demon!  
>-Snow then pulls out an AXE! Dun Dun Dun-<br>**Edward:** Your weapon are useless against me!

* * *

><p><strong>Writer:<strong> I can't believe we're doing so great  
><strong>Director:<strong> Yeah this is going to be a hit- wait is that Edward Cullen?  
><strong>Writer:<strong> WHAT?  
>-when did he get here...wait is that Snow holding an Axe at him-<p>

**Director:** That stupid Axes can't kill vampire well not in Twilight those.  
><strong>Writer:<strong> Wait...This is my story!  
>-pull out paper-<p>

_Edwards human..._

* * *

><p><strong>Edward:<strong> I can breath!  
><strong>Snow:<strong> Oh my God really!  
><strong>Edward:<strong> YEAH! :D  
><strong>Snow:<strong> To bad it was a waste of air  
><strong>Edward:<strong> How?  
><strong>Snow:<strong> This :)  
>-Swing, bang [Clean up on pathway]-<p>

**Caeser Flickerman:** Okay I think as can cut that out...Katniss! Who will be your first Date?  
><strong>Katniss:<strong> Well. lets do it the old fashion way. A name out of the hat Caeser **Flickerman:** That sound fun!  
>-producten worker give Caeser a hat-<br>**Katniss:** Alright who going first...and it Peeta!

**Peeta:** Yess!  
><strong>Gale:<strong> Damnit  
><strong>Snow:<strong> Please be last!

**Caeser Flickerman:** Peeta may you please step forward!  
>-Peeta...HELL YEAH!-<br>**Caeser Flickerman:** You will be on a date with Katniss for one hour so go have fun!

**Gale:** Hey Snow...  
><strong>Snow:<strong> What?  
><strong>Gale:<strong> Want to smoke a dos?  
>-Narrows eyes-<br>**Snow:** Ah what hell like anything is gotten go wrong anyway  
>-Smoking WEEEED ANYONE?-<p>

* * *

><p><strong>An Hour Later<strong>

**Katniss:** Thank you Peeta...That was beautiful  
><strong>Peeta:<strong> It was...Is this the part were I kiss you?  
><strong>Katniss:<strong> I think so?  
>-they lean in and have a lovely kiss-<p>

**Gale:** Isn't that a beaituful site...  
>-looking over the balcony-<br>**Snow:** If you think I going gay after this your fuck up in the head because of all this weed you smoke  
><strong>Gale:<strong> Its not my weed I got them from Haymitch  
><strong>Snow:<strong> So he quit drinking and went to drugs...Well maybe I should to that!

* * *

><p><strong>Haymitch Story in District 13<strong>

**Haymitch:** I never thought of my parents once  
><strong>Prim:<strong> Really...hm...Why don't you tell me about your childhood  
>-Haymitch starteds crying-<br>**Prim:** Don't worry your in a safe place  
>-Haymitch pulls out a bong and starts getting high-<br>**Prim:** HAYMITCH NOT that safe place!

* * *

><p><strong>Caeser Flickerman:<strong> Okay Katniss who going to be your second?  
>-pulls out a name-<br>**Katniss:** Gale  
><strong>Gale:<strong> Katniss...I have been waiting for this my whole life you go out with you!

**Snow:** When? After you and Peeta broke up  
><strong>Gale:<strong> Shut up!  
><strong>Snow:<strong> Oh look like I hit a nerve  
><strong>Gale:<strong> How about I hit you face!  
><strong>Snow:<strong> Try IT!

**Katniss:** Gale! Lets go!  
>-Katniss grabs Gale arm-<br>**Gale:** Just wait

**Snow:** For what? Your a pussy anyway  
><strong>Gale:<strong> I'm not the one who RUNAWAY!  
><strong>Snow:<strong> But I'm the one who had sex first with Katniss  
><strong>Gale:<strong> THAT IT!  
>-Gale try to punch Snow but he duck-<br>**Gale:** Quit moving!  
><strong>Snow:<strong> Why?  
><strong>Gale:<strong> Because I'm going to kick your ass!

* * *

><p><strong>Writer:<strong> I should stop this but it's so funny!  
><strong>Director:<strong> Do you think we should stop them so Katniss can go out  
><strong>Writer:<strong> Yeah...Get Gale and Katniss out of her and get Snow and Peeta in the house  
><strong>Director:<strong> You heard the Lady! Lets Move!

* * *

><p><strong>Gale and Katniss Date<strong>

**Katniss and Gale are riding a limo through the Captiol...After two blocks Gale found the mini Bar**

**Gale:** YEAH! ALL OF YOU SUCK ASS!  
><strong>Katniss:<strong> Gale can you stop that!

**Gale:** I heard all the Capitols people have AIDs!  
><strong>Random person:<strong> Get a life!  
><strong>Gale:<strong>Get new look freak!

**Random person 2:** Why don't shut your piehole!  
><strong>Gale:<strong>Why don't you shut your ugly face!

**Katniss:** Gale seriouly! If you keep this up your going to loose  
><strong>Gale:<strong> Aww does someone need a kiss?  
>-oh no-<br>**Katniss:** What?  
><strong>Gale:<strong> Come here  
><strong>Katniss:<strong> NO!  
><strong>Gale:<strong> Come on  
>-SMACK!-<br>**Katniss:** Driver turn this shit around!

* * *

><p><strong>In the Mansion!<strong>

**Snow:** Got a Three?  
><strong>Peeta:<strong> Nope  
><strong>Snow:<strong> You said No for the past 20 minutes!  
><strong>Peeta:<strong> Got a Ace?  
><strong>Snow:<strong> I have all three!  
><strong>Peeta:<strong> Then hand them over  
>-Snow groan hand him the three Aces-<p>

**Katniss:** Your such an Ass!  
>-Peeta and Snow look over the couch-<p>

**Snow:** Oh god  
><strong>Peeta:<strong> What did he do now?

**Katniss:** He Fuckin yells at every Capitol people we passed then tries to kiss me on the lips!  
><strong>Peeta:<strong> What?  
><strong>Katniss:<strong> Yes and now everyone hate him!  
><strong>Peeta:<strong> Gale do you really have to be a kind of person?

**Gale:** Shut-up bread boy!  
><strong>Peeta:<strong> Don't you ever call me THAT!  
><strong>Gale:<strong> I don't give a fuck!  
>-Katniss cries a litte-<p>

**Snow:** Would you both shut-up god it like high school again!  
>-Snow comforts Katniss-<br>**Snow:** Beside it my turn now...  
><strong>Peeta:<strong> I make her feel better unlike someone!

**Gale:** SHUT-UP

**Snow:** Better walk out the door then  
>-Gone...TOGETHER!-<p>

**Peeta:** You just have to be jerk  
><strong>Gale:<strong> Shut-up I'm going to bed

* * *

><p><strong>4 hours later<strong>

**Peeta:** Did you find them yet?  
><strong>Writer:<strong> No -  
>Gale walk in with a robe-<p>

**Gale:** What? who missing?  
><strong>Peeta:<strong> Katniss and Snow  
><strong>Gale:<strong> WHAT

**Writer:** They been gone for 3 hours now  
><strong>Gale:<strong> Where are they?  
><strong>Writer:<strong> How the hell am I suspose to know? I'm not a detective!  
><strong>Gale:<strong> OMG he must have kidnapped her and must be torturing and asking questiong about District 13  
><strong>Writer:<strong> Are camera lost with in the crowd! Dumdass  
>-Writer thinks while Gale yelling for answer...<strong>Dumdass<strong>-

**Writer:** I think I know what they are doing.  
>-pulls out a piece of paper-<p>

_Katniss and Snow are on the couch doing whatever_

_they are doing at this time right now_

**Peeta, Writer, Gale, The Camera men:** Gasp!

**This is so rated M heheh but I fixing the story!**


	6. Life in the Capitol

**IF YOU READ BLAST TO THE PAST THIS IS THE FINAL CHAPTER!**  
><strong>DUN DUN DUUNNNN! :)<strong>

**Writer:** Oh my god...  
>-Snow still in Katniss-<p>

**Katniss:** Oh Snow!  
><strong>Snow:<strong> Your such a naughty Girl on Fire aren't you  
><strong>Katniss:<strong> Maybe I should get my pushiment?  
>-thrust-<br>**Katniss:**OHHH

**Writer:** Can you please STOP!  
>-Katniss and Snow realize they're not in their hotel room-<br>**Katniss:** Aaahhh!  
>-push off Snow-<br>**Katniss:** How did we get here?  
><strong>Writer:<strong> Me Girl on Fire! God I feel like I'm in Jersery Shore mixed with Wirzard of Waverly Place!

**Peeta:** Katniss how could you  
><strong>Katniss:<strong> Peeta did it ever come to you  
>-Peeta shake his head-<br>**Katniss:** I liked Snow from the beinging!  
><strong>Peeta:<strong>WHAT!

**Gale:** Yeah! wait what are we screaming about O_O"  
>-Gale see Katniss naked on the couch-<br>**Gale:** Katniss why are you naked?

**Writer: **Because it turn out She got boned from Snow...again  
><strong>Katniss:<strong> Only this time I'm not drunk  
><strong>Writer:<strong> Here a blanket! God your just like Bella! only you cheated on both Peeta and Gale!  
><strong>Katniss:<strong> Thanks and I didn't cheated on Peeta or Gale!  
><strong>Writer:<strong> Then Why are you with three GUYS!

-Snow grab a pillow to cover himself-  
><strong>Snow:<strong> Don't worry we're just friend with Benfits

**Writer:** What were you guy doing before you had...um...sex?  
><strong>Snow:<strong> Went to the bar had a few drink got a room and rent a bad movie Katniss got horny maybe because some placed a drug in her drink

**Writer:** What?

**Katniss:** Hey Snow...I'm still a naughty Girl On Fire  
><strong>Snow:<strong> Yes you are

**Writer:** GOD DAMN IT!  
>-Writer writes down-<p>

_Katniss wasn't druged_

**Katniss:** What the hell?  
><strong>Snow:<strong> crap

**Writer:** Okay I feel better  
><strong>Snow:<strong> You just had to ruin my fun  
>-Narrow eyes-<br>**Writer:**Yea and you just had to have sex  
><strong>Snow:<strong> So she liked

**Gale:** Hey want to hear a prank I did  
><strong>Writer:<strong> Sure  
><strong>Gale:<strong> So the other day I went to the supermarket, and I was there for literally 5 minutes. When I came out there was a motorcycle Peacekeeper writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?"  
><strong>Peeta:<strong> then what

**Gale:** He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked Nazi lover. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for worn tires!  
><strong>Writer:<strong> What?  
><strong>Gale:<strong>So I then asked him if his psychiatrist makes him lie face down on the couch cause he's so ugly. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!

**All:** hahahha  
><strong>Gale:<strong> This went on for about 20 minutes... the more I insulted him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner.  
><strong>All:<strong>hahahahahah

**Writer:** That good to lighten up the group okay... were still doing this bacholeretto thing and it 12:20 so everyone go to bed

* * *

><p><strong>Katniss choosen Peeta and I the Writer threaten everyone they have 6 month to recover or I erace the story.<strong>

**Game Night at Katniss and Peeta house**

Snow, Gale, Katniss and Peete were playing cards. Snow accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Katniss was not wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, Snow hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced. Later, Snow went to the kitchen to get some refreshments.  
>Katniss followed him and asked.<p>

**Katniss:** Did you see anything that you liked under there?  
>-Snow admitted that, well, yes he did-<br>**Katniss:** You can have it, but it will cost you $100.

After a minute or two, Snow indicated that he was interested. She informed him that since Peeta works Friday afternoons and Snow doesn't, Snow should come to her house around 2:00 PM on Friday

* * *

><p><strong>What Happeing NOW...<strong>

Friday came and Snow went to Katniss house at 2:00 PM. After paying her $100 they went to the bedroom, had sex, and then Snow left. Peeta came home about 6:00 PM. He asked his wife Peeta: Did Snow come by this afternoon?

**Katniss:** Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes.  
><strong>Peeta:<strong> Did Snow give you $100?  
>-Oh hell he knows!-<br>**Katniss:** Yes, he did give me $100.  
><strong>Peeta:<strong> Good, Snow came by the Station this morning and borrowed $100 from me. He said that he would stop by our house on his way home and pay me back.

**(Oh I forgot Peeta playing as A Peacekeeper or that his job for now)**

**Let see was happening in ever one else is life?**

* * *

><p><strong>Gale's Life: Get away<strong>

Gale bought a new Mercedes to celebrate Katniss leaving him and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive.  
>The top was down, the breeze was blowing through his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.<p>

**Gale:** There's no way they can catch a Mercedes The needle hit 90, 100...Then the reality of the situation hit him.  
><strong>Gale:<strong> What am I doing?  
>-pulled over-<p>

The peacekeeper came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.  
><strong>Peacerkeeper:<strong> It's been a long hard day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, I don't need the frustration or the overtime, so if you can give me a really good excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go.  
>-Gale thinks about it for a second-<br>**Gale:** Last week my nagging girlfriend ran off with a peacekeeper. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!  
><strong>Peacekeeper:<strong> Have a nice weekend

* * *

><p><strong>Coin's Life: Money not everything<strong>

Coin decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk

**Coin:** I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?  
><strong>Clerk:<strong> About 32  
><strong>Coin:<strong> Nope! I'm exactly 50  
>-A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question-<p>

**Counter:** I'd guess about 29  
><strong>Coin:<strong> Nope, I'm 50  
>-Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question-<p>

**Drug Store Clerk:** Oh, I'd say 30  
><strong>Coin:<strong> I'm 50, but thank you!  
>-While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question-<p>

**Old Man:** Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are.  
>-They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out-<p>

**Coin:** What the hell, go ahead.  
>-He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other. After a couple of minutes of this-<p>

**Coin:** Okay, okay...How old am I?  
>-He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands-<p>

**Old Man:** Madam, you are 50 -Stunned and amazed-

**Coin:** That was incredible, how could you tell?  
><strong>Old Man:<strong> I was behind you in line at McDonald's  
>-Coin pissed off pulls out a gun and shoots the Old Man-<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Johanna's Life: The Bus Stop<strong>

In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop Johanna was waiting for the bus. Johanna was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on the bus, Johanna became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the bus' first step.

So slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, Johanna reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again Johanna tried to make the step onto the bus to discover she still could not make the step. So, a little more embarrassed, Johanna once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more. And for a second time, Johanna attempted the step and once again, much to her chagrin she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt. So with a coy little smile to the driver, Johanna again unzipped the offending skirt to give a little more slack and again was unable to make the step. About this time the big Captiol man that was behind her in the line picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus. Well, Johanna went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero, screeching at him.

**Johanna:** How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!  
><strong>Capitol Man:<strong> Well ma'am, normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that maybe we were friends  
>-Johanna punches him and take her sit-<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Finnick's Life: Golf<strong>

Finnick is in the locker room of a golf club. When a cell phone rings, he engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk...

**Finnick:** Hello

**Wife:** Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?

**Finnick:** Yes

**Wife:** I am at the mall and found a beautiful leather coat. It's $1,000. Can I buy it?

**Finnick:** OK, go ahead if you like it that much

**Wife:** I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2002 models. I saw one I really liked

**Finnick:** How much?

**Wife:** $60,000

**Finnick:** For that price I want it with all the options

**Wife:** Great! One more thing. ... The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're only asking $450,000

**Finnick:** Well, then go ahead and buy it but just offer $420,000

**Wife:** OK. This is surely my luckiest day. I love you! Honey

**Finnink:** Bye, I love you too.

When he just hangs up, another man enters the locker room and asks him

**Husband:** Have you seen my cell phone?

* * *

><p><strong>Haymitch's and Prim's Life: The Urinals<strong>

Haymitch came home drunk at four in the morning, and his roomate was all over him, yelling at him, crying because she thought he was dead.

**Haymitch:** No, Prim, I swear, I was at this bar, and it was so fancy that even the urinals were made of gold.

Prim didn't believe him so she called the bar.

**Prim:** Hello, I just want to ask one question. My friend claims to have spent the night at your bar and I have one question; Are your urinals covered in gold?

To which Prim heard the bartender said

**Bartender:** Hey, Clarence, I think we found the guy who pissed in your saxophone

* * *

><p><strong>Plutarch visit District 4 with his girlfriend<strong>

The day after Plutarch girlfriend disappeared in a boat accident, Plutarch answered his door to find two grim-faced Peacekeeper.

**Peacekeeper 1:** We're sorry, Mr. Heavenbee, but we have some information about your girlfriend,  
><strong>Plutarch:<strong> Tell me! Tell me! Did you find her?  
>-The Peacekeeper looked at each other, and finally one said-<br>**Peacekeeper 2:** We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?  
>-Fearing the worst, an ashen Plutarch-<br>**Plutarch:** Give me the bad news first  
><strong>Peacekeeper 2:<strong> I'm sorry to tell you sir, but this morning we found your girlfriend's body in the districts Bay.

**Plutarch:** Oh my God!  
>-Plutarch swallow-<br>**Plutarch:** What's the good news?  
>-Both smiled-<br>**Peacekeeper 2:** When we pulled her up, she had 12 25-pound king crabs and 6 good-size Dungeness crabs clinging to her  
><strong>Plutarch:<strong> If that's the good news, what's the great news?  
>-Plutarch damande now the Peacekeeper are grinning-<br>**Peacekeeper 1:** We're going to pull her up again tomorrow.

* * *

><p><strong>Boggs got married to one of his girls and this is what happening<strong>

**Boggs's life Bars**

Boggs goes to a shrink and says

**Boggs:** Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy! What do you think I should do?"  
><strong>Doctor:<strong> Relax -Boggs trying to relax-  
><strong>Doctor:<strong> take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?

* * *

><p><strong>Writer take Snow to Church in Canada<strong>

The Writer and Snow are in church and the preacher starts asking questions, but, Snow starts to fall asleep so the Writer pokes her him with a needle whenever he falls asleep.

**The Preacher:** who was the savior?  
>-Snow starts to fall asleep so the Writer pokes him and he yells-<br>**Snow:** JESUS CHRIST!  
><strong>The Preacher:<strong> very good

**Later on as Snow is sleeping again**

**The Preacher:** Who brought us the 10 commandments -Snow gets poked-  
><strong>Snow:<strong> HOLLY MOSES!

**5 minutes later**

**The Preacher:** What did Eve say after Adam and her had their 46 son?  
>-Snow is sleeping again so when he gets stung he yells-<br>**Snow:** DAMN IT! IF YOU POKE ME WITH THAT THING ONE MORE TIME IM GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!

**That the end of Blast to the Past... I hope you loved it because I just couldn't write anymore and if you remember some of the jokes than I hope you liked them Hunger Game version**

**And Yeah I fixed the STORY**

**REVIEW!**


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